


Why Did You Have To Go Away?

by SourinFangirl



Category: Free!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, Depression, Ghosts, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Sad Ending, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 15:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4882042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SourinFangirl/pseuds/SourinFangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a sad fic with no happy ending. Well, that's kind of subjective, I suppose and I'll leave that up to the reader to decide. Only read this if you want to be in tears at the end of it. Comments and kudos always appreciated. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Did You Have To Go Away?

Sousuke sighed as he checked his phone for the 100th time and placed it back down on the table with a frustrated grunt. Still no reply. He was sitting at a booth in a small cafe that had opened up a few months ago. Sousuke wasn't a big fan of cafes in general, but Rin loved coming here. It was his favorite place to eat and spend time together. So Sousuke figured that it was only proper that he propose to him here. 

The ring wasn't anything special, as it was the cheapest one Sousuke could afford. He knew Rin wouldn't care about that, but it bothered him that he couldn't afford something better. He and Rin were childhood friends and they practically grew up together. In high school, they became an official couple and now they were both nineteen years old and still going strong. If Rin didn't accept the proposal, Sousuke wasn't sure what would happen to them. He wanted Rin to be his husband, desperately, but if Rin didn't feel the same way, his feelings would be hurt. 

Instead of checking his phone again, Sousuke reached inside his jeans pocket and pulled out a black box. Inside the box was a beautiful diamond ring that sparkled each time he held it up towards the light. He smiled a bit as he pictured Rin bursting into tears when he popped the question. Rin couldn't get here fast enough and Sousuke was growing impatient. He sat the box on the table and picked up his cell phone, composing a new text message to send to Rin. 

||Hey, where are you? I haven't gotten a response from you for forty minutes, hope everything is ok. Love you. ~Sou|| 

Sousuke put his phone down and gently declined when one of the waitresses walked over to his table for the tenth time and asked if he'd like to order anything. He politely explained that he was only waiting for someone and she reminded him that they would be closing in two hours. Sousuke swallowed hard, feeling a wave of disappointment wash over him. He was really beginning to worry now. In all their years of dating, Rin had never once stood him up. So why would he start now? 

Sousuke practically jumped with joy when his phone made a soft beeping sound, indicating that he had a new message. His teal eyes scanned over it and he sighed heavily, saying a silent prayer. Rin was ok. His text read, ||Sorry for ignoring your texts, I think there's a delay between our phones. I'm at the dollar store and I'll be at the cafe when I'm done here. Much love. ~Rin|| 

Sousuke replied with a heart and walked up to the front counter, ordering a bagel and a small coffee. When he received his food, he sat back down at the booth near the front of the cafe and glanced outside. It was raining hard and several jagged flashes of lightning lit up the sky. Sousuke leaned over and took a bite out of his bagel, about to reach for his coffee when he received another text message from Rin. He put the bagel down on his plate and reached for it, reading Rin's new message. ||I missed the bus so I'll be walking down the street to the cafe. Might take me forty minutes to get there, I'm sorry. ~Rin|| 

||Not your fault. Just as long as you get here, I'm happy. Be safe. ~Sou|| Sousuke finished his bagel and coffee, nervously fiddling with his fingers as he continued to wait for Rin, lightly tapping his fingers against the table. 

||Sousuke, can you order me a hot chocolate? I promise I'll pay you ba--|| It was a text that Rin never got to send or finish. He didn't even have time to react when he stepped out into the street and was struck by a bus. His death wasn't painful and he died as soon as he hit the ground, his red eyes wide open and his cracked phone laying beside him. 

Two hours later, Sousuke had his phone tucked away in his pocket and was walking around the corner where he and Rin's apartment was. He was just getting in the door when he received the phone call. The call came from Rin's mother and the only reason why he knew it was a bad call was because of how hard he heard Gou crying in the background and due to how shaky Ms. Matsuoka's voice was. 

Sousuke remained silent throughout the entire phone call, his teal eyes welling with tears that slowly slid down his cheeks. Rin was gone. He and Sousuke would never be able to get married. Sousuke had no one to watch over now. No one to be protective over. He had nobody to wake up to. Nobody to fight with about who drunk the last soda and whose turn it was to do the laundry. He was alone. 

When Ms. Matsuoka finally hung up, Sousuke looked up to the ceiling and sobbed loudly, beside himself with grief. "...Why me? Why did you leave me? I had the ring picked out and everything. I was gonna ask the question tonight and I was gonna put the ring on your finger. We were supposed to spend the rest of our life together. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, Rin, I'm so sorry. I couldn't protect you when you needed me the most." Sousuke wasn't the crying type, but for that entire week, his days consisted of nonstop grieving and staring at old pictures of Rin when he wasn't crying. 

Sousuke chose not to attend the funeral. It would bring back bad memories and he didn't want to break down in tears again. 

Ten years later, Sousuke is sitting in bed and still staring at old pictures of Rin. He hasn't moved on. Hasn't dated anyone else. Hasn't even looked at anyone since Rin died. Several bottles of alcohol litter the floor and there's a burning cigarette in the ashtray. All the liquor and cigarettes in the world will never be enough to make him forget about Rin and the love they shared. It numbs the pain and emptiness for a little while and then it hits him again, out of nowhere, like a ton of bricks. 

There's a loaded gun next to the picture of Rin with a medal around his neck after winning a tournament during his freshman year. Sousuke reaches for it and puts it to his head, sighing softly. He's always thought that suicide was for cowards. An easy way out. Maybe it's because he never imagined he'd be in so much unbearable pain after losing the love of his life. Nothing helps. Not alcohol, not an entire carton of cigarettes, not therapy, and not the antidepressants. So he decides that it's better to just end the pain now, while he still can. 

In a split second, he pulls the trigger and there's a loud, deafening bang. Blood splatters all over the wall and Sousuke falls to the ground with a soft thump. When the police come in to remove the body, they notice an engagement ring next to his left hand and two handwritten notes on the bed. They're lightly sprinkled with blood, but easy to read. 

"If roses grow in Heaven, someone please pick a bunch for me. Place them in my Rin's arms and tell him that they're from me. Tell him that I love him and miss him, and when he turns to smile, place a kiss upon his cheek and hold him for a while. Because remembering him is easy, I do it every day, but there's an ache within my heart that will never go away." ~Sousuke 

"I just want to be with Rin. I can't take this anymore. All I've ever wanted was to be by Rin's side." ~Sousuke 

Sousuke Yamazaki was buried beside his longtime boyfriend, Rin Matsuoka. People who believe in spirits claim that they often see the ghosts of the two young men holding hands and embracing each other in a tight hug next to their gravestones. Others say that they sometimes see them standing beside each other and staring out at the ocean next to the grave keeper's house. Perhaps Sousuke was finally able to propose to Rin after all. Nobody will ever know. 


End file.
